Holmes & Watson (2018)
Rating – 0/4
*SPOILERS*
The classic stories about the adventures of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson have been portrayed in the media on numerous occasions, sometimes funny, sometimes serious, and sometimes both. But this movie has no Basil Rathbone or Robert Downey Jr. No, it has two stars that have wasted their time and talent on this so-called “comedy.” Starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly from Stepbrothers and Talladega Nights, this movie was meant to be their big reunion after not working together for a long time. But this reunion was bitter and disappointing.
To Arthur Conan Doyle and the poor audience, this hunt should never have been afoot.
Directed by Etan Cohen, Holmes & Watson attempts to be a humorous take on the classic stories by Arthur Conan Doyle and follows the iconic duo of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson as they work to prevent an assassination attempt on Queen Victoria. Also starring are Rebecca Hall and Ralph Fiennes, two more talents wasted. But since Sherlock Holmes has been parodied many times, this attempt seems old already.
The real mystery of this film is not the assassination attempt on Queen Victoria, or who Professor Moriarty (Fiennes) is, but where the actual comedy lies. Ferrell and Reilly are very funny comedians so this movie should’ve had no problems with its jokes. But the “humor” is all a bunch of dated references, cringy anachronisms, or drawn-out gags. One example is the attempt to take a “selfie” using an old camera with a tripod. Stupidity ensues.
Another unfunny example is when Holmes wears a “Make England Great Again” hat, a clear reference to Donald Trump. Did the movie have to get political? Haven’t people heard enough in the media? Relying on making references doesn’t count as comedy. It counts as a lack of effort.
And my god, are the characters terrible, especially Holmes. Like the typical Will Ferrell formula, Holmes is an immature man-child, egotistical, and so full of himself, and yet screws up terribly every moment. He constantly puts others down, refuses to listen to others, and is just plain stupid. The childish antics aren’t charming, they’re just boring. Unlike Buddy the elf whose immaturity is part of him discovering the world, Holmes’s immaturity actively destroys it.
So much for the brilliant detective.
That’s the comedy. Holmes is an idiot, Watson gets shit on, and everyone is stupid. Rinse and repeat. It’s one unfunny gag after another, the plot is thin, and the premise is wasted. Is this what Cohen and team decided was entertainment? To watch people stumble around like idiots?
You don’t need a movie for that. You can just go out and live in the real world.
Nothing about this movie worked. Not the actors, not the direction, not the premise, and not the “comedy”. This was a movie that came out too late (December 2018), and critics unfortunately missed the chance to put it on their “Worst Films of the Year” lists. But it definitely is a movie that belongs on a bad movie list at a minimum and luckily, it rightfully won the Razzie Award for “Worst Picture.” In fact, the movie was so bad that Sony tried to sell the movie to Netflix, in hopes to prevent a major loss of money. But Netflix refused, as they didn’t want to be a “dumping ground” for bad movies. And that refusal spawned a meme, “Not Even Netflix Wanted It”, arguably a joke funnier than what Holmes & Watson turned out to be.
My dear viewers, you don’t need an elementary education to determine that this movie is terrible. You just need common sense.
