Staff Christmas Movies (2024)
Coleen
Polar Express (2004)
How many characters can Tom Hanks voice? In this classic adaptation of the beloved children’s book Tom Hanks lends his voice to the young boy, the train conductor, the hobo, the narrator, and Santa Claus.
The story begins on Christmas Eve with a young boy who has almost completely lost his faith in Santa Claus. The Polar Express comes to bring him to the North Pole along with various other children including a “know it all” boy, a Christmas loving girl, and a boy that has all but given up on Christmas. The story is filled with memorable songs and moments; The hot chocolate number, when the train nearly goes out of control, and when the young boy is given the first gift of the season.
This movie is a yearly tradition in my house and I have fond memories of seeing The Polar Express in theaters as a child with my family. Along with the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, Christmas would not be complete without at least one viewing of this holiday classic. I would highly recommend this fun and charming adventure that reminds us that “sometimes the most real things in life are the things we can’t see”.
Michael
Elf (2003)
If you want to see a grown ass man running around New York City in an elf costume, this movie is definitely for you. Especially when Buddy the Elf is played by none other than Will Ferrell. This movie is so funny that my family used to watch it every year on thanksgiving as a “now it’s officially Christmas season” tradition.
Will Ferrell and James Caan star in this Christmas comedy set in The Big Apple. As an elf with no sense of real life’s intricacies and challenges, Buddy throws himself into the world of a human while trying to find his father, Walter Hobbs (James Caan) who Buddy learned is on the Naughty List (honestly, how dare a 50-something year old man be on the naughty list!). As Buddy approaches Walter, the denial of learning that Buddy is his son becomes very strong. Walter does all he can to deny the existence of another Hobbs in the world besides his younger son, Michael. By the way, the best scene HANDS DOWN is the snowball fight scene… IYKYK.
But throughout the film (like a Christmas miracle), Walter starts to believe that Buddy may actually be his son (especially after the proof of a DNA test). The movie has a very “Christmas movie” like ending with Santa needing Christmas spirit to power his sleigh and get it out of Central Park, and Walter Hobbs (the grinch that he may be) got that sleigh off the ground just by singing a damn Christmas carol. That’s the real Christmas miracle here…
Dillon
Arthur’s Perfect Christmas (2000)
The adventures of the beloved aardvark from Marc Brown bring us a Christmas classic that is endearing to all ages.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “nobody’s perfect.” Well, tell that to Arthur, who is determined to have the perfect Christmas. Stuffing a mile high, seventeen types of pie, and happiness for the whole family. Hallelujah! Except, you know how it goes…
All wrong!
Get the spiked eggnog ready!
Hilarity, holiday songs, and heart warmth ensues in this woefully underrated Christmas special that I’m saddened doesn’t get enough attention. Allow me to shine the spotlight on one of my favorite Christmas specials that I unashamedly admit I watch every holiday season and highly recommend that you put on your Nice List.
(By the way, I still hate the entitled brat D.W. and this special makes anyone hate her more. Lots of coal for you!)
Will
Jingle All The Way (1996)
This movie is utterly insane. I love it so much.
Arnold Schwartzeneggar in his 90s comedy phase (think Kindergarten Cop and Twins) in an unholy odyssey of last minute toy shopping. He fistfights a reindeer. He fights a cartel of mall Santa’s. His neighbor tries to steal his wife. He plays the world’s most jacked mattress salesman. He makes countless ridiculous sounds with that goofy accent. It’s peak Arnold. Even if he’s not the best actor, he’s committing so hard and I don’t know how to not love it.
Basically, Arnold plays a terrible father who attempts to buy his child’s love by getting him the most popular toy of the Christmas season well after it’s fully sold out. The entire movie is watching this man among hordes of adults abandon reason for madness in an effort to get a piece of plastic. Basic human decency is abandoned in the lengths gone to spend money. A capitalist dream and a consumerist nightmare. A mirror to America that grows more potent with age.
To best sum up my point, my brother in law just complimented me on this movie choice and my “top tier shitposting”. That’s exactly what this is. It is glorious, glorious holiday shitposting. It can not be truly described. It can only be seen. Treat yourself. Watch The Terminator mess around in a ball pit. Watch Sinbad make bomb threats. Watch a child encourage parents to get divorced. This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen and I will be watching it every year.
