The Blue Lagoon
Rating – 2/4
*SPOILERS*
Sure, let’s journey to an island and watch Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins walk around wearing nothing and bang each other every minute. It’s a story of survival, but also about innocence and first love. I admit, I wasn’t expecting the best things from this movie from the reviews, but when I watched it, I was pleasantly surprised, although not too much. Aside from amazing cinematography, there were some positives, like the occasional “so-bad-it’s-good” moments, mainly from poor acting and dialogue, which made it entertaining enough. The Blue Lagoon does have a certain charm to it, although it’s definitely not for everyone.
In the late Victorian-era, two children (cousins for that matter), Richard and Emmeline Lestrange are shipwrecked on an island. And in a typical romance plot structure, they begin to fall in love. They have sex regularly, they admit their feelings to each other in the cheesiest ways possible, and eventually have a baby, which they have no idea how it happened. Did I mention they were cousins?
One issue I had was the acting. These two have little chemistry and their wooden delivery of their lines made it painful at times. They showed skin, but not skill. Hate to break it to you but taking all your clothes off doesn’t make you a better actor. But it might make someone horny. And I know Brooke Shields is a good actor but not in this film. And with two people stuck on an island for most of their lives, you’d think they’d have a relationship that felt real. I understand that they are supposed to act like children due to their lack of upbringing, but even children act better than this. In this film, two teenagers trying to act like children come off as cringey.
Second, there are quite a few plot holes. Apparently, the island is also inhabited by dangerous native people…whom Richard and Emmeline only run into once. Are we really to believe that they NEVER encountered them at all during the years on the island? The island isn’t small, but it’s not that big either. Another plot hole is the fact that these ENGLISH children have no accents. Maybe they could’ve lost them, but their mannerisms seem very American. Another is the fact that when Emmeline steps on a venomous stonefish, she doesn’t die and recovers within hours. There are many others but we’d be here all day. Not only does this show poor production value, but also poor writing.
But despite these issues, there is a certain charm to the movie. For one, the cinematography is amazing, with the various underwater shots standing out. The film wastes no time exploring the beauty of the island and its flora and fauna. Forget Shields and Atkins getting all hot and heavy, the real porn is the scenery. In a Discovery Channel or National Geographic documentary, the footage would fit perfectly. But it is beautiful nonetheless and the Academy Award nomination for Best Cinematography was well-earned. That’s not something I usually say either, so I consider this high praise.
And the bad acting and bad dialogue does work in the film’s favor, making it entertaining to watch. It does become hilarious to watch two teenagers try to be children. They sing Christmas songs, recite the anachronistic Pledge of Allegiance, give each other awkward smiles, and sometimes their innocence becomes TOO saccharine, to the point of hilarity. As a sucker for a good love story, the interactions with their baby do become sweet at times. For two teenagers with a limited upbringing, they are pretty good parents. I’d sum it up by calling it, entertainingly messy.
The Blue Lagoon is not the best movie, but I can’t call it one of the worst. I know it’s on Roger Ebert’s “Most Hated” list, but I don’t think it deserves that dishonor. Maybe people were turned off by the explicit sex (which isn’t even that graphic) and the prospect that the two are cousins. Yeah, the filmmakers should’ve changed that and I won’t defend the choice. But I can say one thing: it’s not as explicit or controversial as it was declared back in the 1980’s. Call it a victim of a different time period. It’s watchable, but if you got stuck on an island and had to pick one movie, you don’t HAVE to choose this one if you don’t want to.
